2 Nephi 10 A lost child

I have not physically lost a child. I do have friends who have experienced the heartache of the death, stillborn birth, or miscarriage of a child, and their grief is an enduring pain which I cannot fully understand. I have also witnessed friends and family experience spiritual death due to choices that have separated them from Christ. I have felt what that separation feels like, and strive to avoid that in my daily choices. It would be very hard for me to see my own children also make those same choices, although I feel the most important thing for my children is that they are good people. I want them to love their neighbor, and I know it is my responsibility to allow them to know God. Ultimately, however, I know that the choice to follow God is theirs to make.

2 Nephi 10:2 are words of Jacob as he is reflecting his posterity. He “has been shown” that many of his children will not believe in God “nevertheless, God will be merciful unto many”. How merciful will God be to the unbelievers? That is a question that may be impossible to fully understand, but I would hope that if a person still chooses to “love thy neighbor” while being less focused on their belief in God is still living according to the light and knowledge that they have. Some of the most thoughtful, loving, and wonderful people I know are atheist or agnostic, and I admire them for their examples. I feel they will be of the people that “God will be merciful unto many.”

2 Ne 9 - To be learned

When can knowledge lead to foolishness? When can knowledge lead to wisdom? Being in academia knowledge is a constant pursuit and I am surrounded by others who are also career learners. 2 Ne 9:28-29 specifically addresses the “foolishness of men”. Learning coupled with pride inflates egos and “profiteth them not”. “But to be learned is good if they hearten unto the counsels of God.”

I have a few things figured out when it comes to parenting. I would like to emphasize the word FEW. Those few things that I do understand and do well are also specific to me, my family, and the few children I have in the particular age in which they are developing with their specific personality, and my specific personality. There is a tendency for me to think, however, that sometimes I know how to parent better than others. That I have it all figured out. That my experience, learning, and knowledge make me better at this than other people and I look around with an eye of judgement and superiority at other fathers.

But then I go home and spend more than 10 minutes with my children and I make at least 10 mistakes, going against my own superior knowledge, as my children crack through my weaknesses and I fall apart. This leads to apologies and long talks and calm prayers, thoughts, and breaks till I accept my place as a “foolish” father. I don’t have it figured out, I need help, and I need to approach every attempt with such humility or I will be ineffective at any pursuit.

2 Nephi 9:30 talks about those who are “rich as to the things of the world”. Luckily I don’t really have to worry about that :)

2 Nephi 7:1

THIS is the attitude that we need to have with our children. “Yea, for thus saith the Lord: Have I put thee away, or have I cast thee off forever? For thus saith the Lord: Where is the bill of your mother’s divorcement? To whom have I put thee away, or to which of my creditors have I sold you? Yea, to whom have I sold you? Behold, for your iniquities have ye sold yourselves, and for your transgressions is your mother put away.”

We need to be available to our children no matter what they do, much like our Heavenly Father is available to us no matter what we do. That does not mean he condones our bad behavior or that he does not let us have consequences. As a child of God I feel fully supported in my righteous decisions and encourage to do something about my unrighteous ones.

Questions for reflections of parenting:

Do our children feel safe sharing their mistakes with us as parents?
Do our children know that they can mess up and still be loved?
How do you react to your child’s mistakes?
Do you pattern correct behavior for your children?
Are children allowed to ask why? And do you seek for them to understand?
Do your children understand boundaries, consequences, goals, set backs, failure, success, practice, patience?
Are you willing to admit to your children when you have made mistakes? Do you apologize to them?
Do your children know you love them?